work_id,theme,provenance,created_at,text,reviewed_on,id,comments,metaphor,dictionary,updated_at,context
4211,Inwardness,"Searching in ""mind"" and ""interio"" in HDIS (Prose); found again ""as it were""",2005-08-09 00:00:00 UTC,"Whilst my Brother's Wound detain'd him (said Clelia) Marcellus made divers Visits, partly out of Respect and Kindness to him, and partly to find an Opportunity to discover his Passion to me, which in a few Days happen'd. Fabius being asleep, I was retir'd into the Closet, where Marcellus entering, took the Opportunity to cast himself at my Feet, and make his Address to me with all the Tenderness that a Respect due to my Quality could permit, and the Suddenness of the Occasion dictate: Which I receiv'd with a pretended Displeasure, as counting it an Affront to my Virtue, that he, being espous'd to another, should offer me his Love; to which he return'd, (with much Patience) that a Marriage made in Minority, and never consummated, was nothing in Effect, and such was that between him and Jemella; which I knew very well without his Information: But the Consideration of the many Difficulties that wou'd arise by Means of this Contract with Jemella, made me oppose him, not only in this first Onset, but in divers other Attacks of that Kind. Nor was it only this Chaos of Confusion, which I knew must necessarily fall between these three noble Houses, but my virtuous generous Soul had an Aversion to any indirect Proceeding, and my own Heart told me in what Manner Jemella must resent such an Affront; [Page 8] yet these, and many more reasonable Considerations cou'd not hinder some tender Thoughts from taking Root in my Heart, which have since brought forth such Fruits of Folly, as I shall let you know in the Sequel. I will not repeat to you, Madam, the divers Conflicts of my Thoughts and the Agitation of my Mind on this Occasion; for my Interior labour'd as it were under a Fever and Ague, burning with an irresistible Inclination for Marcellus, and trembling with the Apprehension of so irregular an Affection, of which I saw no Possibility of Cure, but by the immediate Help of the Powers Divine; for which Cause I went to the High Priest of Jupiter, my particular Friend; to him I open'd my Heart, and begg'd his holy Aid and Counsel; who advis'd me to make my Devotions in the Temple of Jupiter, where many had been favour'd with satisfactory Answers. This Counsel I put in Practice as soon as possible, and having perform'd my Sacrifice with all due Ceremony, the Oracle answer'd,
(pp. 7-8)",2006-09-19,10984,•I've included twice: Interior and Fever and Ague,"""I will not repeat to you, Madam, the divers Conflicts of my Thoughts and the Agitation of my Mind on this Occasion; for my Interior labour'd as it were under a Fever and Ague, burning with an irresistible Inclination for Marcellus""","",2009-09-14 19:35:27 UTC,""
4211,"",Searching in HDIS (Prose),2005-08-09 00:00:00 UTC,"Here it was I had sufficient Occasion to exercise my passive Courage, and become a miserable Pattern of Patience. Here it was I stood in need of more Philosophy than I really posses'd, wherewith to bubble my Fancy, and cheat my Understanding, with that wild Notion, that a virtuous Man can never be unhappy, because he bears his Happiness in himself. I endeavour'd to apply that Stoical Receipt, but found it very fallible. I frequently ask'd myself why I could not be as happy in that Restraint, as formerly in the voluntary Prison with my Father; but the Answer was obvious, That ones own Will and Choice renders a Dungeon a Palace; and, on the contrary, a Heaven would be no longer so without Exilia. Thus I pass'd my tedious [Page 150] Hours, 'till one Day the Captain of the Guard, who succeeded me, being a Roman, came to visit me, and made me divers Complements and Assurances of his Desire to serve me, adding, that it was a great Affliction to him to see me ruin my Fortune, and perhaps lose my Life for one who deserv'd it not. Ah me! (reply'd I) she deserves more than I can make manifest: One may as well say the heavenly Bodies shine not, or Fire warms not, or any Thing in Nature has not its proper Qualities, as to say she deserves not. Ah! Exilia, I know her vertuous Inclinations for me; I remember the Promise she made me; I am sensible of what she suffers for me; but no Sufferings, nor Death itself, is capable to alienate her Affections from one single Moment, though never so long absent; for our Love is all Soul, and needs not the Supplement of Conversation to keep it alive; its Being is pure and immortal, as those Gods that infus'd it into our Hearts, and shall survive all Opposition. Alas! reply'd the Captain, I am sorry to find your Wisdom so impos'd upon; but when once Passion blinds us, Passion misguides us, Passion overthrows us, Passion destroys us, and no Passion so strong and so deceitful as that of Love; Love rocks our Reason into a Lethargy, and then does what it pleases with the rest of our Interior; it fools the wise Man, and infeebles the [Page 151] strong; it makes the Philosopher become a Fop, and the Divine a Madman; the soft Courtier becomes fierce, and the Warrior effeminate; it makes the Poor cease to earn their Bread, and the rich Usurer squander his hard gotten Wealth; it makes the best Friends become mortal Enemies, and one's Benefactor become one's Adversary. All these, and thousands of other Ills attend this unfortunate Passion; and after all, be recompens'd with Scorn or Falshood: The Truth of which, your Experience, or this Letter, may evince; withal giving me a Letter from Exilia, containing these Words:
(pp. 149-51)",,10985,•I've included twice: Revolution and Interiority,"""[W]hen once Passion blinds us, Passion misguides us, Passion overthrows us, Passion destroys us, and no Passion so strong and so deceitful as that of Love; Love rocks our Reason into a Lethargy, and then does what it pleases with the rest of our Interior""","",2009-09-14 19:35:27 UTC,"Vol 1, Book 4"
4211,Inwardness,"Searching ""passion"" and ""interio"" in HDIS (Prose)",2005-08-09 00:00:00 UTC,"O cruel Passion, said she to herself, that in Spite of all Endeavours subjects us to thy Tyranny; yet I am happy in this,Scipio knows not what Power he has over me, nor ever shall; I will dye rather than discover my Folly. O poor Cordiala, unhapy Maid! what wild Meanders of strange and hard Adventures has Fortune mark'd out for thy Virtue to trace; what strange Vicissitudes hast thou encounter'd in the short Space of thy Life; yet short as it is, it had been happy for thee if it had pleas'd the Gods to have abridg'd it, and taken me out of the World ere I had beheld this lovely Object of my pleasing Pain. Yesterday I thought him the Morning-Star of my Hopes, ushering in the bright Dawn of some Happiness: But when he became illustrated with the Glories of his House, and the poor Ismenus encircled with the Rays of a Scipio, his Brightness then extinguish'd all my Hopes, and cast me into the Abyss of deep Despair. And now that all Hopes are extinguish'd, my fond Desires ought to dye with them: But, alas! so firm a Possession has Love taken of my Heart, as is not in my Power to eject. O ye Gods! why did you permit me to see and love him in his low Condition? Had I never seen him, 'til refulgent with the bright Rays of his Family, his Glories had been too dazling for one in my low Sphere [Page 284] to have look'd upon, but at a vast Distance, amongst the admiring Crowd, have run to see him pass by, and there to have respected him as a Hero, equal to a Demi-God. What Madness is it then for me, a Thing so mean, to think on him, but as one of the Lords of Mankind, above the Reach of vulgar Thoughts! Yet so it is, I must not only think of him, but infinitely love him. He is the only Object of my Tenderness; my Eyes never taught my Heart to make Distinction 'til they beheld Ismenus. All the Gallants of Rome, and Youths of Sicily, were to me alike indifferent. I thought Misfortunes hard harden'd my Heart to such a Temper, as not to love beyond the Degree of Friendship; but, poor Girl! how suddenly didst thou become flexible! The first Onset of his Eyes subjected my Heart to Love's imperial Commands: Methinks I could live on the Remembrance of that dear Moment, when a gentle Look and a soft Sigh forc'd their Passage to my Soul; which I had almost return'd with the like tender Motions, but that I stifled in the Birth such untimely Fruits of my Folly, not suffering my Breast to deliver itself of the Burden of one Sigh: By which Means Scipio remains ignorant of my Weakness, for which Conduct I am thankful to Heaven; for had he known it, I could not have out out-liv'd the [Page 285] Shame of being deserted by him, which must necessarily have ensu'd this his elevated State; for whatsoever Inclination might have whisper'd to him on my Behalf, Duty and Honour would command, and are such imperious Mistresses as must and ought to be obey'd. Then, O ye Gods! be so kind to me as you were to the Nymphs of old, and turn me into a Tree in this Grove, where perhaps Scipio may admire me in that Form or Species, and carve some Love Verses on my Bark, sing and whisper gentle Airs, which the Wind, joining with my ruffling Leaves, will reverberate, and so make a happy Consort of our mutual Loves. And if my thick Shade shelter him from Sun or Rain, how pleas'd should I be in rendering him that Service. But, O ye Gods! if he should bring some fair She, Daughter of a mighty Lord, and underneath the Umbrage of my extended Branches court and languish at her Feet, then should I die, my Leaves wither, and my Trunk rot with Indignation. Then rather let me follow the Fate of that babling Nymph whom your Pity turn'd into a Voice, and I will always follow this my Narcissus; and when vast Armies and glorious Triumph shall with loud Applause shout forth the Name of Scipio, then is my Time to serve his Fame, by echoing, Scipio, [Page 286] Scipio, Scipio, 'til his Name pierce the Clouds, and make even the Gods jealous of his rising Glories. Thus did this vertuous Maid entertain her roving Thoughts in this her solitary Walk, 'til Scipio, who was full of Agitation of Mind, also came into those Walks, and there met her, the Object of his Tenderness, to whom he address'd himself, saying, That since the Gods had been propitious to him in the Advancement of his Condition, he hoped she would now cease her Rigour; for (said he) I protest by all that's good, the chief Satisfaction I take in this my Advancement, is the Hopes that it well render me the more worthy Object of your Consideration, and gives me Occasion to testify the Sencerity of my Affection; inasmuch as no Change of Fortune is capable to change my Sentiments towards my lovely Maid: Then testify the Acceptance of this my offer'd Love by one gentle Look or Smile; let me hope that I am not wholly indifferent to you. Alas! (reply'd Cordiala) those Reasons you inforce, to oblige me to correspond with your amorus Pretensions, ought to be employ'd to justify my Refusal. It is obvious to any Capacity, that the Inequality of our present Fortunes must needs be a greater Obstacle than was our mutual Poverty. Then cease to entertain me or your own Fancy on this Subject; for assure your [Page 287] self I will never hear, much less gratify you: I will not be the Author of your Misfortunes, nor the Scorns of your Family: I will not cause you to disoblige the best of Fathers, nor myself become the Odium of Mankind. Therefore cease, I say, to importune me on this Subject. Madam, (reply'd Scipio) your Commands to me are sacred, and must be obey'd to the utmost Degree of Possibility; but know this, that although I cease to importune you, I cannot cease to love you: Your Perfections are made to be belov'd, and chiefly by me. And though you should forbid me ten thousand Times, yet still I must love on. You took Possession of my Heart the Moment of our first Interview, and will hold it against all other Assailants, whether Riches, Honours, or any other Beauty. Then since it is impossible to make my Heart cease from sighing Love, and my Mind from thinking Love, my Eyes from languishing, it is vain to command my Tongue to cease from declaring what all my interiour Passions dictate. No, rather give me Leave to address my Friends, and obtain not only their Leave but their Assistance to persuade you on my Behalf. As he was about to proceed, they discover'd Asiaticus at the End of the Walk, and seeing him alone, Scipio took the Opportunity to go and discourse with him on the Subject [Page 288] of his Passion, begging him to intercede with his Father on his Behalf. This Discourse both surpriz'd and displeas'd Asiaticus; nevertheless he could not refuse his Importunity, and so promis'd to do what he could with his Father, tho' he fear'd it would prove ineffectual; and so left Scipio to go look for his Father, whilst he return'd to the Place where he left Cordiala, and there found with her Clarinthia, who, seating themselves, and discoursing of Things indifferent, they saw a Person at the End of the Walk coming towards them, who they soon perceiv'd to be Valerius. As he came near Clarinthia, he cast himself at her Feet, begging Pardon of her and Heaven for all the Trouble he had caus'd her; adding, That he was come on Purpose fromSicily, and going to Rome, to enquire afterTurpius, in Hopes he may have gotten thither. If seeking after Turpius be your Business, reply'd Clarinthia, you will soon find Success; for he is at my Lord Publius Scipio's House, whither I will conduct thee.
(pp. 282-8)",,10987,•INTEREST. Barker is especially given to the description of interiority. ,"""Then since it is impossible to make my Heart cease from sighing Love, and my Mind from thinking Love, my Eyes from languishing, it is vain to command my Tongue to cease from declaring what all my interiour Passions dictate""","",2009-09-14 19:35:27 UTC,"Vol 2, Book 6"
4272,Soliloquy,"Searching ""haunt"" and ""mind"" in HDIS (Prose Fiction)",2004-04-27 00:00:00 UTC,"D'elmont's Family was now become a most distracted one, every Body was in Confusion, and it was hard for a disinterested Person to know how to behave among them: The Count was ready to die with Vexation, when he reflected on the Adventure at the Baron's with Melantha, and how hard it would be to clear his Conduct in that Point with Melliora: She on the other Hand, was as much tormented at his attempting it. 'The Chevalier was in the height of Despair when he found that Ansellina continued her Humour, and still avoided letting him know the Occasion of it: And Alovisa, tho' she contented herself for some Hours with relating to her Sister all the Passions of her Husband's unkind usage of her, yet when that was over, her Curiosity return'd, and she grew so madly zealous to find out who her Rival was, that she repented her Behaviour to the Baron, and sent him next Day, privately, a Billet, wherein she assur'd him, that she had acquainted the Count with nothing that had pass'd between them, and she desir'd to speak with him, 'Tis easy to be believ'd he needed not a second Invitation; he came immediately, and Alovisa renew'd her Entreaties in the most pressing manner she was capable of, but in vain, he told her plainly, that if he cou'd not have her Heart, nothing but the full Possession of her Person should extort the Secret from him. 'Twould swell this Discourse beyond what I design, to recount her various Starts of Passions, and different Turns of Behaviour, sometimes louder than the Winds, she rav'd! Commanded! Threatned! Then, still as April Showers, or Summer Dews, she wept, and only whisper'd her Complaints, now dissembling Kindness, then declaring unfeign'd Hate; 'till at last, finding it impossible to prevail by any other means, she promis'd to admit him at Midnight into her Chamber: But as it was only the Force of her too passionate Affection for her Husband, which had work'd her to this pitch of raging Jealousie, so she had no sooner made the Assignation, and the Baron had left her, (to seek the Count, to prevent any suspicion of their long Conversation) but all D'elmont's Charms came fresh into her Mind, and made the Thoughts of what she had promis'd, odious and insupportable; she open'd her Mouth more than once to call back the Baron, and recant all she had said; but her ill Genius, or that Devil, Curiosity, which too much haunts the Minds of Women, still prevented her: What will become of me, (said she to herself) what is it I am about to do? Shall I forego my Honour--quit my Virtue--sully my yet unspotted Name with endless Infamy--and yield my Soul to Sin, to Shame, and Hortor, only to know what I can ne'er redress? --If D'elmont hates me now, will he not do so still? --What will this curs'd Discovery bring me but added Tortures, and fresh weight of Woe. Happy had it been for her if these Considerations cou'd have lasted, but when she had been a Minute or two in this Temper, she wou'd relapse and cry, What! must I tamely bear it then? --Endure the Flouts of the malicious World, and the Contempt of every saucy Girl, who while she pities, scorns my want of Charms--Shall I neglected tell my Tale of Wrongs, (Oh! Hell is in that Thought) 'till my Despair shall reach my Rival's Ears, and crown her adulterous Joys with double Pleasure. --Wretch that I am! --Fool that I am, to hesitate, my Misery is already past Addition, my everlasting Peace is broke! Lost even to Hope, what can I more endure? --No, since I must be ruin'd, I'll have the Satisfaction of dragging with me to Perdition, the vile, the cursed She that has undone me: I'll be reveng'd on her, then die my self, and free me from Pollution. As she was in this last Thought, she perceiv'd at a good Distance from her, the Chevalier Brillian and Ansellina in Discourse; the sight of him immediately put a new Contrivance into her Head, and she compos'd herself as she cou'd, and went to meet them.
(II.xxii, pp. 232-3)",,11159,"•Another example of soliloquy: Alovisa talks to herself ""(said she to herself)"" and then the narrator describes this dash-ladened discourse as ""Thought.""
","""Ill Genius, or that Devil, Curiosity, ... too much haunts the Minds of Women""","",2009-09-14 19:35:37 UTC,""
4279,"","Searching in ""mind"" and ""line"" in HDIS (Prose)",2005-05-11 00:00:00 UTC,"After two or three Days, the News came that Bosvil was sick of a violent Fever, even so bad that all despair'd of his Life. This was a new Stroke of Fortune, and she was arm'd with a Weapon against which I had never contended; I griev'd, and at the same Time was angry with myself for grieving: Ah, foolish Galesia, (said I to myself) Ah, silly Girl, to grieve for him who deserves thy Scorn and Hatred, for him that has robb'd thee of thy Quiet three whole Years, for him that swore to love thee, that languish'd and dy'd at thy Feet, expressly to make thee miserable; for him that obstructed the Amours of the first and second Brafort, that thy Ruin might be the more compleat; for him that was treated by thy hospitable Parents, more like their own Child than an adventitious Guest, by which Means the Traitor had Opportunity to steal away the Heart of their only Daughter! And is it possible that thou should'st grieve for such a Wretch as him? One that Heaven has now mark'd with its just Vengeance, and has sent this Sickness as a Scourge to his Falshood. But notwithstanding all this, I must grieve and pray for him: Which I am sure I did with more Earnestness than ever I did for my own Soul; in which I did but pay a Devotion which he had advanc'd; [page 56] for he has often assur'd me, that he offer'd me daily in his Prayers; the Consideration of which holy Kindness made me redouble my Request to Heaven to spare his Life, tho', at the same Time, I had much rather he should have dy'd, than not live mine. However, I did not pretend to capitulate with the Almighty, but ask'd his Life in general Terms, without including or excluding his Person, which, by Intervals, I hop'd might yet one Day be mine; for I still sooth'd my Fancy that he lov'd me, and that the Sight of me, after so long an Absence, was the sole Cause of this his Illness; and then made wild Resolutions to visit him, fancy'd myself there, figur'd to myself the Transports of Joy he would be in to see me so kind, imagin'd his Father and Mother embracing me as their own Child; then immediately drawing the Curtain, beheld myself rejected by them, as the Plague of their Family, perhaps refus'd and slighted by him, rebuk'd and wonder'd at for my coming, scorn'd and laugh'd at by all the World, severely treated by my Parents, or perhaps put out of Hopes of ever seeing them again; for I very well believ'd there was no Medium after such an Exploit, between being receiv'd by his Parents, and abandon'd by my own: And for me to [page 57] have propes'd this Visit to them, I knew was vain, having no Pretence to justify the Request; the whole Amour having been a continu'd Act of Folly on the one Side, and Treachery on the other; and the last Scene a Declaration of Scorn instead of Kindness, he having own'd in the Presence of my Mother and other Friends, his Design of marrying another; and then repeat in my Thoughts all his Crimes, and with my best Malice enlarge upon his Treachery, Falshood, and Cruelty; look upon him dead by the Hand of Heaven, just and good in taking him away from a Possibility of accomplishing his Perjury in this his pretended Marriage; then in an Instant turn over the Leaf, and read him dead; dead as my faithful Lover, recount all our tender Words and Actions that had pass'd in our three Years Conversation; blame all my feign'd Indifferency and forc'd Coldness towards him; fancy'd he thought on me in his Agony, and nam'd me with his dying Breath; believe I saw his much-griev'd Parents cursing me as the Author of their Affliction, and after a Thousand of these Tragical Notions, which presented themselves to my distracted Imagination, my Fancy wou'd open another Scene, and make me think I saw him alive, and happy in the Arms of his London Mistress, living in all the [page 58] Felicity that a happy Espousal could procure. Thus my Thoughts play'd at Racket, and seldom minded the Line of Reason; my Mind labour'd under a perpetual shaking Palsy of Hope and Fear; my whole Interiour was nothing but Distraction and Uncertainty. At last I resolv'd to send a Messenger secretly, to know how he did; in which I did a great Penance for all the proud Actions of my Life, not only in shewing that kind Concern for him, but a greater Difficulty yet, which was, to be oblig'd to a Servant, in making him the Confidant of this Secret. However, this Occasion made me do Violence to my Nature, and engag'd one of my Father's Men to go secretly on this Errand: But first I order'd him to go to Bosvil's own Dwelling, which was near us, and there enquire after his Health; and if there he heard of his being better, then to go no farther, otherwise, to make the best of his Way to his Father's. The Man perform'd my Orders exactly, and hearing at this Place that he was something better, went no farther; with which I remain'd satisfy'd, 'till Time brought him to our House perfectly recover'd. But, ah, this Recovery was a Death to all my Hopes; for the first Use he made of his new-restor'd Health, was to go marry his Mistress at [page 59] London; making our House in his Way, and me the Auditor of that horrid News; which at first shock'd me, but I had been so often put upon by false Alarms, that I was now grown like the Country-men to the Shepherds in the Fable, who, when the Wolf really came, stirr'd not, having been often deluded by the Shepherds, and call'd without Occasion; for I thought it impossible that he could come to tell me such News to my Face. But what is most astonishing, I have been told since, that in his Sickness he gave all he had to me, and recommended me to his Parents as their own Child, and they promis'd him to receive me as such. Now, after all this, to go, directly after his Sickness, and be marry'd to another, is a Transaction most unaccountable. But I knew nothing of this at that Time, for I was told it afterwards, and that he had been extreamly concern'd on my Account in this his Sickness. However, ignorant as I was of these Circumstances, I did not in the least believe that his going to London, when he pass'd by our House, was to be marry'd, but look'd upon it as a meer Jest or Banter, such as was that of Mrs. Lowland, and others; wherefore, I could not pass over this Subject of Frolick or Mirth, without adding to the Jest, and as I had sent him a [page 60] Willow Garland, on the Marriage of Mrs.Lowland, so now I sent him a pretty Pair of Horns, neatly made of Bugles, by which I meant to joke and banter him on his pretended Marriage; but, alas, it prov'd more than a Pretence, and the Horns came to him just upon his Wedding-Day, in the Presence of his Bride and all the Company; as also several Emblems and Mottos on that Subject, the Horns being fasten'd on a Head-band, as a sovereign Remedy for the Head-ach, to which marry'd Men are often very subject, especially those who marry Town-Coquets; all which, I protest, was without any malicious Intent, not thinking in the least that he was really about Marriage, but only design'd to render Jest for Jest, believing his Discourse of Marriage had only been a Banter, such as that of Mrs. Lowland, and the rest beforemention'd.
(pp. 55-6)",,11192,"","""Thus my Thoughts play'd at Racket, and seldom minded the Line of Reason""","",2009-09-14 19:35:39 UTC,""
4279,Inwardness,"Searching in ""mind"" and ""interio"" in HDIS (Prose)",2005-08-09 00:00:00 UTC,"After two or three Days, the News came that Bosvil was sick of a violent Fever, even so bad that all despair'd of his Life. This was a new Stroke of Fortune, and she was arm'd with a Weapon against which I had never contended; I griev'd, and at the same Time was angry with myself for grieving: Ah, foolish Galesia, (said I to myself) Ah, silly Girl, to grieve for him who deserves thy Scorn and Hatred, for him that has robb'd thee of thy Quiet three whole Years, for him that swore to love thee, that languish'd and dy'd at thy Feet, expressly to make thee miserable; for him that obstructed the Amours of the first and second Brafort, that thy Ruin might be the more compleat; for him that was treated by thy hospitable Parents, more like their own Child than an adventitious Guest, by which Means the Traitor had Opportunity to steal away the Heart of their only Daughter! And is it possible that thou should'st grieve for such a Wretch as him? One that Heaven has now mark'd with its just Vengeance, and has sent this Sickness as a Scourge to his Falshood. But notwithstanding all this, I must grieve and pray for him: Which I am sure I did with more Earnestness than ever I did for my own Soul; in which I did but pay a Devotion which he had advanc'd; [page 56] for he has often assur'd me, that he offer'd me daily in his Prayers; the Consideration of which holy Kindness made me redouble my Request to Heaven to spare his Life, tho', at the same Time, I had much rather he should have dy'd, than not live mine. However, I did not pretend to capitulate with the Almighty, but ask'd his Life in general Terms, without including or excluding his Person, which, by Intervals, I hop'd might yet one Day be mine; for I still sooth'd my Fancy that he lov'd me, and that the Sight of me, after so long an Absence, was the sole Cause of this his Illness; and then made wild Resolutions to visit him, fancy'd myself there, figur'd to myself the Transports of Joy he would be in to see me so kind, imagin'd his Father and Mother embracing me as their own Child; then immediately drawing the Curtain, beheld myself rejected by them, as the Plague of their Family, perhaps refus'd and slighted by him, rebuk'd and wonder'd at for my coming, scorn'd and laugh'd at by all the World, severely treated by my Parents, or perhaps put out of Hopes of ever seeing them again; for I very well believ'd there was no Medium after such an Exploit, between being receiv'd by his Parents, and abandon'd by my own: And for me to [page 57] have propes'd this Visit to them, I knew was vain, having no Pretence to justify the Request; the whole Amour having been a continu'd Act of Folly on the one Side, and Treachery on the other; and the last Scene a Declaration of Scorn instead of Kindness, he having own'd in the Presence of my Mother and other Friends, his Design of marrying another; and then repeat in my Thoughts all his Crimes, and with my best Malice enlarge upon his Treachery, Falshood, and Cruelty; look upon him dead by the Hand of Heaven, just and good in taking him away from a Possibility of accomplishing his Perjury in this his pretended Marriage; then in an Instant turn over the Leaf, and read him dead; dead as my faithful Lover, recount all our tender Words and Actions that had pass'd in our three Years Conversation; blame all my feign'd Indifferency and forc'd Coldness towards him; fancy'd he thought on me in his Agony, and nam'd me with his dying Breath; believe I saw his much-griev'd Parents cursing me as the Author of their Affliction, and after a Thousand of these Tragical Notions, which presented themselves to my distracted Imagination, my Fancy wou'd open another Scene, and make me think I saw him alive, and happy in the Arms of his London Mistress, living in all the [page 58] Felicity that a happy Espousal could procure. Thus my Thoughts play'd at Racket, and seldom minded the Line of Reason; my Mind labour'd under a perpetual shaking Palsy of Hope and Fear; my whole Interiour was nothing but Distraction and Uncertainty. At last I resolv'd to send a Messenger secretly, to know how he did; in which I did a great Penance for all the proud Actions of my Life, not only in shewing that kind Concern for him, but a greater Difficulty yet, which was, to be oblig'd to a Servant, in making him the Confidant of this Secret. However, this Occasion made me do Violence to my Nature, and engag'd one of my Father's Men to go secretly on this Errand: But first I order'd him to go to Bosvil's own Dwelling, which was near us, and there enquire after his Health; and if there he heard of his being better, then to go no farther, otherwise, to make the best of his Way to his Father's. The Man perform'd my Orders exactly, and hearing at this Place that he was something better, went no farther; with which I remain'd satisfy'd, 'till Time brought him to our House perfectly recover'd. But, ah, this Recovery was a Death to all my Hopes; for the first Use he made of his new-restor'd Health, was to go marry his Mistress at [page 59] London; making our House in his Way, and me the Auditor of that horrid News; which at first shock'd me, but I had been so often put upon by false Alarms, that I was now grown like the Country-men to the Shepherds in the Fable, who, when the Wolf really came, stirr'd not, having been often deluded by the Shepherds, and call'd without Occasion; for I thought it impossible that he could come to tell me such News to my Face. But what is most astonishing, I have been told since, that in his Sickness he gave all he had to me, and recommended me to his Parents as their own Child, and they promis'd him to receive me as such. Now, after all this, to go, directly after his Sickness, and be marry'd to another, is a Transaction most unaccountable. But I knew nothing of this at that Time, for I was told it afterwards, and that he had been extreamly concern'd on my Account in this his Sickness. However, ignorant as I was of these Circumstances, I did not in the least believe that his going to London, when he pass'd by our House, was to be marry'd, but look'd upon it as a meer Jest or Banter, such as was that of Mrs. Lowland, and others; wherefore, I could not pass over this Subject of Frolick or Mirth, without adding to the Jest, and as I had sent him a [page 60] Willow Garland, on the Marriage of Mrs.Lowland, so now I sent him a pretty Pair of Horns, neatly made of Bugles, by which I meant to joke and banter him on his pretended Marriage; but, alas, it prov'd more than a Pretence, and the Horns came to him just upon his Wedding-Day, in the Presence of his Bride and all the Company; as also several Emblems and Mottos on that Subject, the Horns being fasten'd on a Head-band, as a sovereign Remedy for the Head-ach, to which marry'd Men are often very subject, especially those who marry Town-Coquets; all which, I protest, was without any malicious Intent, not thinking in the least that he was really about Marriage, but only design'd to render Jest for Jest, believing his Discourse of Marriage had only been a Banter, such as that of Mrs. Lowland, and the rest beforemention'd.
(pp. 55-6)",,11197,"","""[M]y Mind labour'd under a perpetual shaking Palsy of Hope and Fear; my whole Interiour was nothing but Distraction and Uncertainty""","",2009-09-14 19:35:39 UTC,""
4272,Inwardness,"Searching ""soul"" and ""interio"" in HDIS (Prose)",2005-08-09 00:00:00 UTC,"The Woes of Love are only worthy Commiseration, according to their Causes; and tho' all those kinds of Desire, which the difference of Sex creates, bear in general the name of Love, yet they are as vastly wide, as Heaven and Hell; that Passion which aims chiefly at Enjoyment, in Enjoyment ends; the fleeting Pleasure is no more remembred, but all the Stings of Guilt and Shame remain; but that, where the interiour Beauties are consulted, and Souls are Devotees, is truly noble; Love there is a Divinity indeed, because he is immortal and unchangeable; and if our earthy part partake the Bliss, and craving Nature is in all obey'd; Possession thus desir'd, and thus obtain'd, is far from satiating; Reason is not here debas'd to Sense, but Sense elevates itself to Reason, the different Powers unite, and become pure alike.",,11198,"","""[W]here the interiour Beauties are consulted, and Souls are Devotees, is truly noble; Love there is a Divinity indeed, because he is immortal and unchangeable; and if our earthy part partake the Bliss, and craving Nature is in all obey'd; Possession thus desir'd, and thus obtain'd, is far from satiating; Reason is not here debas'd to Sense, but Sense elevates itself to Reason, the different Powers unite, and become pure alike""","",2009-09-14 19:35:39 UTC,Part 2
4279,Inwardness,"Searching ""fancy"" and ""interio"" in HDIS (Prose)",2005-08-09 00:00:00 UTC,"After my aforesaid Discourse with my Friend, that he told me of Bosvil's intended Marriage with Mrs. Lowland, there pass'd many Weeks that I neither saw nor heard from him, he keeping close at his Father's House, (which was about twenty Miles from us) where I thought he pass'd his Time at the Feet of his Fair Mrs. Lowland, who liv'd in his Father's Neighbourhood: But the Truth prov'd, that he was detain'd by a light but lingring Sickness, in which Time I gain'd much upon my distemper'd Mind, and thought my self so perfectly cur'd, as never more to relapse by the Infection of any Lover, how contagious soever Youth, Gallantry, or Riches might render him: But, alas! I had not yet pass'd the Dog-days of Bosvil's hot Pursuits; but at his Return he treated me in another Manner than ever: If before he admir'd, honour'd, or esteem'd me, he now doted, ador'd, and dy'd for me; vow'd a thousand Times that he could not live without me; that his Passion had been the Cause of his late Indisposition, and wou'd be of his Death, if the salutary Remedy of Hymen's Rites were not speedily apply'd; in order to which he had brought a License with him, and therewith took it out of his Pocket, and shew'd it me: All which so astonish'd, pleas'd, and confounded me, that I knew not what to reply; [Page 24] but with Tears in my Eyes told him, that I was wholly non-plus'd, and knew not what Interpretation to make of all that had pass'd between him and me. 'Tis true, reply'd he, I have been extreamly remiss in my Devoirs towards you, for which I deserve the utmost Punishment your Scorn can inflict; nor should I dare to ask Pardon of a Goodness less perfect. Be not cruel then to your Penitent, but forgive him who now asks it with all Submission; him, who vows never to offend you; him, who swears to suffer any Thing, rather than deserve your Anger; him, who dedicates every Action of his Life to love, please, and serve you. Cease (said I) these Asseverations; I never pretended to be displeas'd with you; and as you have done nothing to offend me, so I have done nothing to deserve your Love, beyond that of a Kinswoman or a Friend, which I hope I shall never forfeit, but as such I shall for ever love you. If you love me as a Kinsman or a Friend, reply'd he, testify the same in saving my Life; which, as a wretched Criminal I beg, and as a faithful Lover hope to receive from your Goodness, in consenting to a speedy Marriage; for without that, you cannot pretend to either Friendship, Love, or Charity it self, my Life and Love being now inseparable. Sure, dear Cousin, said I, you forget in [Page 25] whose Company you are, and believe your self with fair Mrs. Lowland: If such an amorous Slumber has cast you into thisDelirium, pray awake, and behold before you your Cousin Galesia. I need no Monitor (reply'd he) to tell me, that it is my Cousin Galesia with whom I converse at present: The reserv'd Behaviour with which she treats me, her faithful Lover, shews, that it is the prudent, vertuous, chast Galesia. It is this reserv'd Mein, Madam, which has often deter'd me, and commanded my Tongue to a respectful Silence; whilst my poor Heart, overcharg'd with Passion, only eas'd it self with Sighs, and my Looks were the only Language whereby to express my interior Thoughts. How far your Silence has been guilty of your Sufferings, (reply'd I) it is not easy for me to penetrate; but I believe the Insincerity of this Declaration might prove very obnoxious to my Quiet, if my pre-ingaged Resolution of a single Life did not secure me from those Dangers, to which my Youth and your Merit might betray me. Ah, Madam! reply'd he, and is it possible that you should doubt the Sincerity of what I now assert? The Great God of Heaven that created us knows what I say is true, when I say I love you above all Things in this World; that I will never marry any Woman but yourself; [Page 26]that I never did, can, or will, place any Beauty or Interest in Competition with you; that I have thought of nothing but you since I first beheld you; that I deny'd all the Diversions of the Town for your sake; and when I tugg'd the Oar of Cook upon Littleton, and other harsh Studies, it was to arrive safe to the Harbour of your Embrace. This Heaven knows to be true; and not Heaven only, but there is not a Person on Earth with whom I have convers'd, that has not been entertain'd with Galesia's Perfections and my Passion: There is not one of my Acquaintance but has heard that I love Galesia. Ah, Madam! this is true, Heaven that inspir'd me with this vertuous Affection, knows it to be true; Earth which adores you, knows it to be true, and you your self know it to be true: Look into your own Conscience, and it will bear Witness to this Truth, that I have lov'd you since the first Moment that I saw you. Remember (Madam) how after the first Salutations, I sate and gaz'd on you with such a deep Surprize, that there was little Difference between me and a Statue, except sometimes a stoln Sigh, which call'd the Blood into your Cheeks, and made me know, (that, young as you were) you understood that Language. Moreover, Madam, that when I sate at Table, I could [Page 27] not eat for looking on you; insomuch, that your charitable Mother thinking me indispos'd, sent to her Closet for a Cordial. Then it was I gaz'd away that Life you now refuse to save, and have ever since labour'd under deadly Pangs; and after thus suffering Martyrdom, to have the Truth of what I profess call'd in Question, is downright Tyranny. Those (reply'd I) who have once swerv'd from the Faith they profess, ought always to be suspected; you have offer'd your Vows to Mrs.Lowland --and so stopt with a stoln Sigh. With that, he call'd to Mind what he had said to my Friend, and told me, that all he had then said, was only to put a Stop to his Curiosity, not thinking it proper to name me as the Object of his design'd Espousals, without my Leave; and then again and again call'd Heaven to witness that he lov'd me above all terrestrial Beings: And if you believe me not, (continued he) I hope you will believe my Father, who intends to be here next Week, to bear witness of this Truth: He will tell you how often I have avow'd it to him, when he has propos'd Matches to me, telling him that nothing but my fair Cousin, the vertuous Galesia, could make me happy. My fond Mother also, when she hears me sigh, knows it is for you, and then blames your Cruelty. If you [Page 28] persist in this Rigour, you will not only cause my Death, but theirs also, whose Lives are bound up in mine. When my Father comes, I hope you will compassionate his Years, when he courts you for his only Child; think how much your tender Mother loves you, and then consider mine; and as your Tenderness extends to them, 'tis hoped you shall have little Beauties of your own to do the same, one Day, for you.
(pp. 23-8)",,11200,"","""It is this reserv'd Mein, Madam, which has often deter'd me, and commanded my Tongue to a respectful Silence; whilst my poor Heart, overcharg'd with Passion, only eas'd it self with Sighs, and my Looks were the only Language whereby to express my interior Thoughts""","",2009-09-14 19:35:39 UTC,""
4326,"",Searching in HDIS (Prose); confirmed in ECCO.,2004-07-06 00:00:00 UTC,"This cursed Mixture did that Monster of a Woman give to her unsuspecting Husband; and while his tender, truly generous Soul was wholly taken up with the Study how to please her, himself was sinking into the most miserable State that Hell-bred Mischief could invent. At first he was seized with a Lethargy of Thought; a kind of lazy Stupefaction hung on his Spirits, which every Day encreasing, at last overwhelm'd the Throne of Reason; Reflection was unhing'd; the noble Seat of Memory fill'd with Chimera's and disjointed Notions; wild and confus'd Ideas whirl'd in his distracted Brain; and all the Man, except the Form, was changed.
(cf. p. 89 in 1723 ed.)",,11300,•I've included twice: once in Architecture and once in Uncategorized,"""Reflection was unhing'd; the noble Seat of Memory fill'd with Chimera's and disjointed Notions; wild and confus'd Ideas whirl'd in his distracted Brain; and all the Man, except the Form, was changed.""",Empire,2014-07-02 14:09:20 UTC,""
4346,Inwardness,Searching in HDIS (Prose),2005-08-09 00:00:00 UTC,"SIR,
Your Letter has so ruffled my whole Interior, that I know not how to write common Sense: Therefore, if my Answer be unintelligible, blame me not, for I am utterly lost in an Abyss of Confusion: The Thoughts of breaking my holy Resolutions on one Hand, and the Sufferings which the keeping them, makes us both undergo, on the other, distracts me. My dear Chevalier! change your Reproaches into Pity: I will endeavour to repair my Faults: Faults! did I say? Ah me! it is a Crime, to call this my Religious Enterprize a Fault! My Thoughts, Words, Writings, on this Occasion, are Faults! The very Corresponding with the young Lady you placed here, is a Fault! Yet, a Fault so sweet, so delicious, that I cannot refrain, because she recounts a thousand tender Things of you; repeats your Sighs and Grief in such soft and melting Words and Accents, as would soften the most obdurate Heart.",,11399,"","""Your Letter has so ruffled my whole Interior, that I know not how to write common Sense.""","",2011-09-26 20:41:19 UTC,Prologue