work_id,theme,provenance,created_at,text,reviewed_on,id,comments,metaphor,dictionary,updated_at,context
4272,"","Searching ""throne"" and ""soul"" in HDIS (Prose); confirmed in LION.",2004-07-06 00:00:00 UTC,"After the Count had gone some few Paces, he planted himself behind a Thicket, which, while it hid him, gave the Opportunity of observing them; and when he found the Coast clear, rush'd out, and with unhurting Gripe, seiz'd once more on the unguarded Prey. Blest turn of Fortune, (said he in a Rapture) Happy, happy Moment! -- Lost, lost Melliora, (said she) unhappy Maid! -- Oh why, my Lord, this quick Return! This is no Place to answer thee, (resum'd he, taking her in his Arms, and bearing her behind that Thicket, where he himself had stood.) 'Twas in vain for her to resist, if she had had the Power over her Inclinations; 'till he, setting her softly down, and beginning to Caress her in the manner he had done when she was in Bed, she assum'd Strength enough to raise herself a little, and catching hold of his transgressing Hands, laid her Face on them, and bath'd them in a Shower of Tears: O! D'elmont (said she) cruel D'elmont! Will you then take Advantage of my Weakness? I confess I feel for you a Passion, far beyond all, that yet ever bore the Name of Love; and that I can no longer withstand the too powerful Magick of your Eyes, nor deny any Thing that charming Tongue can ask; but now's the Time to prove your self a Heroe! subdue your self, as you have conquer'd me! be satisfied with vanquishing my Soul, fix there your Throne, but leave my Honour free! Life of my Life (cry'd he) wound me no more by such untimely Sorrows: I cannot bear thy Tears, by Heaven they sink into my Soul, and quite unman me; but tell me (continued he, tenderly kissing her) couldst thou, with all this Love, this charming-- something more than Softness--cou'dst thou, I say, consent to see me pale and dead, stretch'd at thy Feet, consum'd with inward Burnings, rather than blest, than rais'd by Love and thee, to all a Deity in thy Embraces? For Oh! believe me when I swear, that 'tis impossible to live without thee. No more, no more, (said she, letting her Hand fall gently on his Breast) too easily I guess thy Sufferings by my own; but yet D'elmont 'tis better to die in Innocence, than to live in Guilt. Oh! why (resum'd he, sighing as if his Heart would burst) shou'd what we can't avoid be call'd a Crime? Be Witness for me Heaven! how much I have struggled with this rising passion, even to Madness struggled!--but in vain; the mounting Flame blazes the more, the more I would suppress it--my very Soul's on fire--I cannot bear it--Oh, Melliora! didst thou but know the thousandth Part of what this Moment I endure, the strong Convulsions of my warring Thoughts, thy Heart, steel'd as it is, and frosted round with Virtue, wou'd burst its icy Shield, and melt in Tears of Blood, to pity me. Unkind and Cruel! (answer'd she) do I not partake them then? -- Do I not bear, at least, an equal Share in all your Agonies? Have you no Charms--or have not I a Heart? -- A most susceptible and tender Heart? -- Yes, you may feel it throb, it beats against my Breast, like an imprison'd Bird, and fain would burst it's Cage! to fly to you, the Aim of all its Wishes! -- Oh, D'elmont! -- With these Words she sunk wholly into his Arms, unable to speak more: Nor was he less dissolv'd in Rapture, both their Souls seem'd to take Wing together, and left their Bodies motionless, as unworthy to bear a Part in their more elevated Bliss.
(pp. 102-104)",2012-04-04,11163,•I've included twice: Throne and Conquest. CROSS-REFERENCE: Richardson's Mr B echoes this language in Pamela.,"""I can no longer withstand the too powerful Magick of your Eyes, nor deny any Thing that charming Tongue can ask; but now's the Time to prove your self a Heroe! subdue your self, as you have conquer'd me! be satisfied with vanquishing my Soul, fix there your Throne, but leave my Honour free!""",Throne,2014-07-13 14:50:35 UTC,Part 2
4272,"","",2004-07-06 00:00:00 UTC,"After the Count had gone some few Paces, he planted himself behind a Thicket, which, while it hid him, gave the Opportunity of observing them; and when he found the Coast clear, rush'd out, and with unhurting Gripe, seiz'd once more on the unguarded Prey. Blest turn of Fortune, (said he in a Rapture) Happy, happy Moment! -- Lost, lost Melliora, (said she) unhappy Maid! --Oh why, my Lord, this quick Return! This is no Place to answer thee, (resum'd he, taking her in his Arms, and bearing her behind that Thicket, where he himself had stood.) 'Twas in vain for her to resist, if she had had the Power over her Inclinations; 'till he, setting her softly down, and beginning to Caress her in the manner he had done when she was in Bed, she assum'd Strength enough to raise herself a little, and catching hold of his transgressing Hands, laid her Face on them, and bath'd them in a Shower of Tears: O! D'elmont(said she) cruel D'elmont! Will you then take Advantage of my Weakness? I confess I feel for you a Passion, far beyond all, that yet ever bore the Name of Love; and that I can no longer withstand the too powerful Magick of your Eyes, nor deny any Thing that charming Tongue can ask; but now's the Time to prove your self a Heroe! subdue your self, as you have conquer'd me! be satisfied with vanquishing my Soul, fix there your Throne, but leave my Honour free! Life of my Life (cry'd he) wound me no more by such untimely Sorrows: I cannot bear thy Tears, by Heaven they sink into my Soul, and quite unman me; but tell me (continued he, tenderly kissing her) couldst thou, with all this Love, this charming-- something more than Softness--cou'dst thou, I say, consent to see me pale and dead, stretch'd at thy Feet, consum'd with inward Burnings, rather than blest, than rais'd by Love and thee, to all a Deity in thy Embraces? For Oh! believe me when I swear, that 'tis impossible to live without thee. No more, no more, (said she, letting her Hand fall gently on his Breast) too easily I guess thy Sufferings by my own; but yet D'elmont 'tis better to die in Innocence, than to live in Guilt. Oh! why (resum'd he, sighing as if his Heart would burst) shou'd what we can't avoid be call'd a Crime? Be Witness for me Heaven! how much I have struggled with this rising passion, even to Madness struggled!--but in vain; the mounting Flame blazes the more, the more I would suppress it--my very Soul's on fire--I cannot bear it-- Oh, Melliora! didst thou but know the thousandth Part of what this Moment I endure, the strong Convulsions of my warring Thoughts, thy Heart, steel'd as it is, and frosted round with Virtue, wou'd burst its icy Shield, and melt in Tears of Blood, to pity me. Unkind and Cruel! (answer'd she) do I not partake them then? --Do I not bear, at least, an equal Share in all your Agonies? Have you no Charms--or have not I a Heart? --A most susceptible and tender Heart? -- Yes, you may feel it throb, it beats against my Breast, like an imprison'd Bird, and fain would burst it's Cage! to fly to you, the Aim of all its Wishes! --Oh, D'elmont! --With these Words she sunk wholly into his Arms, unable to speak more: Nor was he less dissolv'd in Rapture, both their Souls seem'd to take Wing together, and left their Bodies motionless, as unworthy to bear a Part in their more elevated Bliss.
(pp. 102-4)",,11165,•I've included twice in War and once in Liquid,"""Oh, Melliora! didst thou but know the thousandth Part of what this Moment I endure, the strong Convulsions of my warring Thoughts, thy Heart, steel'd as it is, and frosted round with Virtue, wou'd burst its icy Shield, and melt in Tears of Blood, to pity me.""","",2013-06-30 16:53:54 UTC,Part 2
4272,"","Searching ""conque"" and ""heart"" in HDIS (Prose)",2005-01-20 00:00:00 UTC,"But how great was my Disappointment, when being admitted, I could distinguish, tho' the Place was very dark, that I was receiv'd but by one, and accosted by her in a manner very different from what I expected: I know not, Monsieur, said she, how you interpret this Freedom I have taken; but whatever we pretend, our Sex, of all Indignities, can the least support those done to our Beauty: I am not vain enough of mine, to assure my self of making a Conquest of your Heart; and if the World should know you have seen and refus'd me, my slighted Charms would be the Theme of Mirth to those whose Envy now they are: I therefore beg, that if I am dislik'd, none but my self may know it; when you have seen my Face, which you shall do immediately, give me your Opinion freely; and if it is not to my Advantage, make some pretence to my Father to avoid coming to our House. I protest to you, my Lord, that I was so surpriz'd at this odd kind of Proceeding, that I knew not presently how to reply; which she imagining by my Silence: Come, come, Monsieur, said she, I am not yet on even Terms with you, having often seen your Face, and you wholly a Stranger to mine: But when our Knowledge of each other is mutual, I hope you will be as free in your Declaration as I have been in my Request. These Words I thought were as proper for my Purpose as I cou'd wish; and drawing back a little, as she was about to lead me: Madam, said I, since you have that Advantage, methinks it were but just you should reveal what sort of Sentiments the Sight of me has inspir'd, for I have too much Reason, from the Knowledge of my Demerit, to fear you have no other Design in exposing your Charms, than to triumph in the captivating a Heart you have already doom'd to Misery. I will tell you nothing, answer'd she, of my Sentiments 'till I have a perfect Knowledge of yours. As she spoke this, she gave me her Hand to conduct me out of that Place of Darkness. As we went, I had all the Concern at the Apprehension of being too much approv'd of by this young Lady, as I should have had for the contrary, if I had imagin'd who it was I had been talking with; for as soon as we came out of the Grotto, I saw by the Light of the Moon, which shone that Night with an uncommon Lustre, the Face which in those Gardens had before charm'd me, and which had never since been absent from my Thoughts. What Joy? What a Mixture of Extacy and Wonder, then fill'd my raptur'd Soul at this second View? I could not presently trust my Eyes, or think my Happiness was real: I gaz'd, and gaz'd again, in silent Transport, for the big Bliss surpass'd the reach of Words. What, Monsieur, said she, observing my Confusion, are you yet dumb? Is there any thing so dreadful in the Form of Violetta, to deprive you of your Speech? No, Madam, reply'd I, 'tis not Violetta has that Power, but she, who unknowing that she did so, caught at first sight the Victory o're my Soul; She! for whom I have vented so many Sighs! She for whom I languish'd and almost dy'd for, while Violetta was at Vitterbo: She! The Divine Camilla, only cou'd inspire a Passion such as mine! --Oh Heavens! cry'd she, and that instant I perceiv'd her lovely Face all crimson'd o're with Blushes; is it then possible that you know me, have seen me before, and that I have been able to make any Impression on you? I then told her of the Visit I had made to Ciamara with Cittolini, and how by his leaving me in the Marble-Study, I had been blest with the Sight of her; and from his Friend became his Rival: I let her know the Conflicts my Honour and my Obligations to Cittolini had engag'd me in; the thousand various Inventions Love had suggested to me, to obtain that Happiness I now enjoy'd, the Opportunity of declaring my self her Slave; and in short, conceal'd not the least Thought, tending to my Passion, from her. She, in Requital, acquainted me, that she had often seen me from her Window, go into the Convent of St. Francis, walking in the Collonade at St. Peter's, and in several other Places, and prompted by an Extravagance of good Nature and Generosity, confess'd, that her Heart felt something at those Views, very prejudicial to her Repose: That Cittolini, always disagreeable, was now grown odious; that the Discourse she had heard of my intended Marriage with his Daughter, had given her an Alarm impossible to be express'd; and that, unable longer to support the Pangs of undiscover'd Passion, she had writ to me in that Lady's Name, who she knew I had never seen, resolving, if I lik'd her as Violetta, to own herself as Camilla; if not, to go the next Day to a Monastery, and devote to Heaven those Charms which wanted force to make a Conquest, where alone she wish'd they should.
(pp. 186-9)",2012-04-04,11177,"","""I am not vain enough of mine [beauty], to assure my self of making a Conquest of your Heart.""",Empire,2012-04-04 19:25:34 UTC,Part 3
4272,"",Searching in HDIS (Prose),2005-01-20 00:00:00 UTC,"But how great was my Disappointment, when being admitted, I could distinguish, tho' the Place was very dark, that I was receiv'd but by one, and accosted by her in a manner very different from what I expected: I know not, Monsieur, said she, how you interpret this Freedom I have taken; but whatever we pretend, our Sex, of all Indignities, can the least support those done to our Beauty: I am not vain enough of mine, to assure my self of making a Conquest of your Heart; and if the World should know you have seen and refus'd me, my slighted Charms would be the Theme of Mirth to those whose Envy now they are: I therefore beg, that if I am dislik'd, none but my self may know it; when you have seen my Face, which you shall do immediately, give me your Opinion freely; and if it is not to my Advantage, make some pretence to my Father to avoid coming to our House. I protest to you, my Lord, that I was so surpriz'd at this odd kind of Proceeding, that I knew not presently how to reply; which she imagining by my Silence: Come, come, Monsieur, said she, I am not yet on even Terms with you, having often seen your Face, and you wholly a Stranger to mine: But when our Knowledge of each other is mutual, I hope you will be as free in your Declaration as I have been in my Request. These Words I thought were as proper for my Purpose as I cou'd wish; and drawing back a little, as she was about to lead me: Madam, said I, since you have that Advantage, methinks it were but just you should reveal what sort of Sentiments the Sight of me has inspir'd, for I have too much Reason, from the Knowledge of my Demerit, to fear you have no other Design in exposing your Charms, than to triumph in the captivating a Heart you have already doom'd to Misery. I will tell you nothing, answer'd she, of my Sentiments 'till I have a perfect Knowledge of yours. As she spoke this, she gave me her Hand to conduct me out of that Place of Darkness. As we went, I had all the Concern at the Apprehension of being too much approv'd of by this young Lady, as I should have had for the contrary, if I had imagin'd who it was I had been talking with; for as soon as we came out of the Grotto, I saw by the Light of the Moon, which shone that Night with an uncommon Lustre, the Face which in those Gardens had before charm'd me, and which had never since been absent from my Thoughts. What Joy? What a Mixture of Extacy and Wonder, then fill'd my raptur'd Soul at this second View? I could not presently trust my Eyes, or think my Happiness was real: I gaz'd, and gaz'd again, in silent Transport, for the big Bliss surpass'd the reach of Words. What, Monsieur, said she, observing my Confusion, are you yet dumb? Is there any thing so dreadful in the Form of Violetta, to deprive you of your Speech? No, Madam, reply'd I, 'tis not Violetta has that Power, but she, who unknowing that she did so, caught at first sight the Victory o're my Soul; She! for whom I have vented so many Sighs! She for whom I languish'd and almost dy'd for, while Violetta was at Vitterbo: She! The Divine Camilla, only cou'd inspire a Passion such as mine! --Oh Heavens! cry'd she, and that instant I perceiv'd her lovely Face all crimson'd o're with Blushes; is it then possible that you know me, have seen me before, and that I have been able to make any Impression on you? I then told her of the Visit I had made to Ciamara with Cittolini, and how by his leaving me in the Marble-Study, I had been blest with the Sight of her; and from his Friend became his Rival: I let her know the Conflicts my Honour and my Obligations to Cittolini had engag'd me in; the thousand various Inventions Love had suggested to me, to obtain that Happiness I now enjoy'd, the Opportunity of declaring my self her Slave; and in short, conceal'd not the least Thought, tending to my Passion, from her. She, in Requital, acquainted me, that she had often seen me from her Window, go into the Convent of St. Francis, walking in the Collonade at St. Peter's, and in several other Places, and prompted by an Extravagance of good Nature and Generosity, confess'd, that her Heart felt something at those Views, very prejudicial to her Repose: That Cittolini, always disagreeable, was now grown odious; that the Discourse she had heard of my intended Marriage with his Daughter, had given her an Alarm impossible to be express'd; and that, unable longer to support the Pangs of undiscover'd Passion, she had writ to me in that Lady's Name, who she knew I had never seen, resolving, if I lik'd her as Violetta, to own herself as Camilla; if not, to go the next Day to a Monastery, and devote to Heaven those Charms which wanted force to make a Conquest, where alone she wish'd they should.
(pp. 186-9)",2012-04-04,11178,"","""No, Madam, reply'd I, 'tis not Violetta has that Power, but she, who unknowing that she did so, caught at first sight the Victory o're my Soul.""","",2012-04-04 19:27:25 UTC,Part 3
4272,"",Searching in HDIS (Prose),2005-01-20 00:00:00 UTC,"The next Morning the Count design'd to visit Frankville, to strengthen him in his Resolution of abandoning all Thoughts of the unconstant Camilla, but before he cou'd get dreft, the other came into his Chamber: My Lord, said he, as soon as they were alone, my perfidious Mistress, failing to make a Conquest of your Heart, is still willing to preserve that she had attain'd over mine; but all her Charms and her Delusions are but vain; and to prove to your Lordship that they are so, I have brought the Letter I receiv'd from her, scarce an Hour past, and the true Copy of my Answer to it
",2012-04-04,11179,"I couldn't find the complete passage in HDIS. This was a fragment, filled out by consulting archive.org","""My Lord, said he, as soon as they were alone, my perfidious Mistress, failing to make a Conquest of your Heart, is still willing to preserve that she had attain'd over mine.""",Empire,2012-04-04 19:40:21 UTC,Part 3: The History of Mons. Frankville
4272,"","Searching ""conque"" and ""soul"" in HDIS (Poetry)",2005-02-08 00:00:00 UTC,"Melliora thought she had done a very heroick Action, and sate herself down on the Bed-side, in a pleas'd Contemplation of the Conquest, she believ'd her Virtue had gain'd over her Passion. But, alas! how little did she know the true State of her own Heart? She no sooner heard a little Noise at the Door, as presently after she did, but she thought it was the Count, and began to tremble not with Fear, but Desire.",,11184,"","""Melliora thought she had done a very heroick Action, and sate herself down on the Bed-side, in a pleas'd Contemplation of the Conquest, she believ'd her Virtue had gain'd over her Passion.""",Empire,2013-06-30 16:54:34 UTC,Part 2
4325,"","Searching ""conque"" and ""heart"" in HDIS (Prose)",2005-01-20 00:00:00 UTC,"'T Wou'd be an over-acted Modesty, and might justly be taken for Stupidity, to feign an Insensibility of your Attractions: The proudest of my Sex wou'd glory in the Conquest of a Heart like yours; and I confess, without a Blush, to find myself that happy envy'd Woman wou'd gratify an Ambition, which unknowing you there cou'd not be a Ground for. The Favour of your visits however, I know not, as yet, how to receive: Worthly, how small a Part soever he had in my Heart, has met with Encouragement from my Father, and in Obedience to his Commands, from me; and Prudence forbids too sudden a Turn in an Affair of so much Consequence; but, if I find you in the little Wood behind our House, about five this Evening, you shall know more of the Sentiments of
Belinda.
(91-2)",,11308,"",The proudest of the female Sex may glory in the Conquest of a Heart ,"",2009-09-14 19:35:46 UTC,From the Story of Belinda (Belinda to Courtal)
4326,"","Searching ""heart"" and ""conque"" in HDIS (Prose)",2005-01-20 00:00:00 UTC,"One Evening as they were alone together at MadamoiselleD'ovrier's, (Du Lache having excus'd himself from waiting on Beauclair,) she, artfully waving all other Subjects of Conversation, turn'd it in such a manner, that it more wore the Face of Chance thanDesign, into an Argument on the Force of Love: She pretended to prove that whatever Indecorums were the Consequences of that Passion, they were wholly unavoidable, and therefore cou'd not but bepardonable. A Man must have been very uncourtly, indeed, that, whatever his Thoughts were, wou'd have disputed with a Lady on that Topick; Beauclair was more gallant; and believing that if ever he desir'd any greater Testimonies of the Conquest he had made of her Heart, than what her Eyes declar'd, now was the Time to obtain them: He catch'd her suddenly in his Arms, and strenuously embracing her, cry'd out in a sort of Extacy, O Madam! how divinely good you are to declare your Willingness to forgive Actions which cannot, by him who gazes on your Charms, but with Torments inexpressible be restrain'd! And perceiving she affected a little Astonishment at his Proceeding; Nay, Madam, continu'd he, by your own Words you stand condemn'd, I own my self a Lover, an Adorer of your Perfections! --- I am no longer Master of my Passion! ---I must indulge the burning Wishes of my Soul! ---And you must pardon 'em! ---You have said you will; --- and sure, you are too heavenly to retract your Promise. --- A thousand melting Kisses, on her Lips, on her Eyes, her Breasts, made a delightful Parenthesis between almost every Word he spoke, and took from her the Power of answering, if she had attempted it; but she, who was truly charm'd with him, and had long languish'd for the Blessing she now so unexpectedly possess'd, was for some Moments too much transported to have Recourse to Artifice: Scarce knowing what she did, she mix'd her Breath with his; and as he held her, press'd him closer still! But Presence of Mind (which till this Juncture never had been absent from her Breast) resuming its former Place, and reminding her, how cheap, in his Esteem, a too easy Yielding would make her appear, oblig'd her to make some faint Efforts to get loose from his Embrace. ----O unhappy and unguarded Woman that I am, (said she, seeming to weep,) by my own Inadvertency I am lost! ---This dangerous Charmer has search'd into my Soul, and found the fatal Secret out, which till this Moment I durst not tell my self. ---- Oh! I am undone for ever (pursu'd she after a Pause, and mustering all her Force to dart one piercing Glance) unless Beauclair, the wondrous,---the lovely, dear destroying Beauclair, will be kind enough to hate me,---to take himself for ever from me,---and let me see that all-undoing Form no more. First perish this Form, (interrupted he, by this Time fir'd, if not with Love, with something which too often bears the Name of it,) blind these Eyes! and new, and unimagin'd Curses light on each Limb and Faculty of Beauclair, when he consents even in a Thought to quit the divine Tortilée! Ah! then, cry'd she, there is no Power in Heaven or Earth can save me! --- Fame, Duty, Virtue, are too weak Defence----against those conquering Eyes, that Shape, that Air, that Mein, that Wit, that Voice, those thousand, thousand Worlds of Charms! Death only is a Refuge for Tortilée! As she spoke these Words she sunk by degrees, and at last fell quite back, in a counterfeited Swoon, in the Chair she was sitting in: Beauclair started immediately from his, and run to the Door, but not to call any Assistance, or bring Water to revive her, (as perhaps some over-aw'd Lovers might have been stupid enough to have done,) but to make it fast, and prevent any other Person from sharing with him in the Glory of restoring her to Life; nor was he, at his Return, at a Loss for Means to bring her back to Sense: But if he cou'd have had Power to inform that Sense with a just Notion of the Happiness she was Mistress of, she had indeed been blest; his extravagant Extent of charming, if not a sufficientSanction for the Crime, was yet a prodigious Excuse, and his unquestion'd Honour a Security for the Concealment of it: But, alas! not all the Glories of his Form or Soul, not all the countless Wonders of his Wit and Beauty could work that Miracle, and triumph over the Inconstancy of this universal Dispenser of her Favours: She who, engag'd with a Multiplicity of Lovers, cou'd find no Satisfaction while wanting Beauclair; languish'd for others, when possest of him; and this accomplish'd Gentleman, in a little Time, serv'd but to swell the Number of her Admirers, scarce distinguish'd, in her Esteem, from those among 'em of the least Pretence to Merit.
(152-55)",,11309,"•I've included twice: Conquest and Testimony
•INTEREST. See also description of absence and presence of mind: ""presence of Mind (which till this Juncture never had been absent from her Breast) resuming its former Place, and reminding her, how cheap, in his Esteem, a too easy Yielding would make her appear"" (153).","""Beauclair was more gallant; and believing that if ever he desir'd any greater Testimonies of the Conquest he had made of her Heart, than what her Eyes declar'd, now was the Time to obtain them.""","",2010-02-05 18:20:17 UTC,""
4325,"","Searching ""conque"" and ""reason"" in HDIS (Prose)",2005-01-25 00:00:00 UTC,"I kept my Word, indeed; for as soon as I had seal'd this up, I drank the Ingredients I had brought home with me:---I drank it without the least Alarm, or any of those Apprehensions, which so terrify the Minds of most People at the Approach of Death, so much had Despair hardened my Heart, and stupified my Reason. In above an Hour, either the Draught it self, or the Force of my Imagination that it must be so, operated so strongly through my Veins, that I grew exceeding sick; and fearing the Effects wou'd come before I had settled those Affairs I had in my Head, I call'd hastily for the good old Nurse. It was almost Midnight, and she was in Bed; and believing I had been so too, was not a little frighted when she came into my Chamber, and found me dress'd as I had been all Day, and with something in my Countenance, as she said, of a Horror impossible to be express'd. I sent for you (said I) to take my everlasting Leave,---to thank you for the faithful Services I have received from you, and to make what Recompence my lessen'd Circumstances have left me Power to do. The poor Creature star'd in my Face all the Time I was speaking; but the Astonishment she was in made her either incapable of understanding me, or took away the Power of answering. Be not surpris'd, (resum'd I,) I tell you this Night,---I know not but this Hour is the last of my Life:---Therefore, while I have Voice to utter the Meanings of my Soul, I charge you be attentive, and perform my last Requests. She certainly thought my Griefs had turn'd my Brain; and hastily interrupting me, as I spoke these Words, For Heaven's sake, Madam, (said she,) give not way to the Suggestions of your Melancholy: You are now, God be prais'd, pretty well recover'd from an Illness in which we had just Reason to despair of you:---You are now, as it were, risen from the Grave, and the signal Deliverance shews that you are destin'd for happier Days than those you yet have seen. ---Ah! do not then (continued she, with Tears in her Eyes) endeavour to disappoint the Designs of your all-wise Preserver, by indulging Grief to prey upon your Senses for the Loss of an unworthy Person, whom, at your Return of Reason you must scorn. I could not suffer her to proceed in this Manner, but cutting her off from what she was going to say, No more, (cried I,) if by an ill-tim'd and unmannerly Zeal you would not forfeit all that good Opinion your Fidelity and Obedience has hitherto inspir'd:---Once more I tell you, that I cannot,---will not live:---Death is already busy at my Heart; and, if I make not haste, may rob me of the only Wish I now can form, and you of the Glory of serving to the last a Mistress, who, if she had the Power, would more express her Gratitude. ---Therefore, in few Words, by all that Truth and Honesty which I believe you possess'd of, I conjure you to deliver a Letter you will find on the Table into Lysander's Hands, the Moment I expire,--- to tell him that his Inconstancy was my Death, and to relate the Manner of it in the most moving Terms you can invent. This is all I have to ask, or to command. ---As to my Funeral, order it as you please; but let me not be laid too near my Parents, lest my guilty Ashes shou'd disturb the sacred Repose of theirs. ---All that remains of my broken Fortune, after I am laid in the Earth, is yours. Though I spoke this with all the Solemnity imaginable, it was to little Purpose; she still took it for the Effects of my Melancholy, and began to resume her Disswasions from letting such sad Thoughts get the better of my Reason; and I was forc'd to tell her what I had done, before I could make her believe I was in Danger of Death. But never did Amazement and real Grief appear more lively than in the Face of this poor Wretch, at what I told her. At first she was entirely mute, and when she had Power to speak, her Words were nothing but Exclamations. Then, on a sudden, thinking they were fruitless, was running for a Physician, for a Divine, and raising the whole Town for my Preservation; nor cou'd any Thing I should have said, have prevented her, if my Strength had not prevail'd to force her into a Chair, and holding her there, oblig'd her to hear me tell her, That the Poison I had taken was not of a Nature to be expell'd, or if it were, had now lain too long in me to be depriv'd of its Operation: Nay, (said I,) put the Case that what I had done, shou'd by any Means that I shou'd be compell'd to use be render'd fruitless,----not all the World shou'd force me to live another Day:----If I cannot die the Way I chuse, still I will some Way;----If not by Poison, there are Knives, or Cords:----My Garters may be my Executioners:----Or if deny'd these Instruments, you cannot hinder me from strangling myself with my own Hands, or dashing out my Brains against the Wall:----To those resolv'd, Death always is at Call. I spoke these Words with a real Design to do as I said; and if she had got Liberty to have brought any Persons in to restrain me, I had certainly that Moment taken some unfailing Method to prevent any Thing they cou'd have done to save me. But with these, and the like Speeches, at last I perswaded her to content herself with lamenting my Desparation, without endeavouring to do any Thing to remove it. And having convinc'd her of my Obstinacy to die, to spare the Infamy of Self-Murder, she promis'd me to keep the Deed conceal'd, and give out I died of an Apoplexy. But I thought I shou'd never have prevail'd on her to carry the Letter to Lysander: Her Abhorrence to him, as the Author of all my Misfortunes, and now of my Death, was so great, that she assur'd me the Task of dying with me wou'd be far less severe than the beholding such a Monster: But my Tears and repeated Entreaties at last overcame all her Scruples, and I engag'd an Oath from her, (for I wou'd not in that Case trust her Promise,) that she wou'd in the Morning see him, and say all that I requir'd. In a very little Time after I had brought her into the Disposition I desir'd, I found a prodigious Heaviness, like that, indeed, of Death, seize on my Spirits; and making no doubt but that the fatal Moment was at hand, with my Nurse's Assistance, (though, poor Soul, she was in too great an Agony to be able to afford me much,) I got my self undress'd, and put to Bed, where I had not lain long before I lost all Sense of every Thing:----Lysander's Charms,----his Cruelty,---- my Ruin and Despair, were now no more remember'd! ----Oh! if one were sure to enjoy that Tranquility in a real Death, that I did in my imaginary one, none wou'd survive their Happiness! At my return to Thought, that is, when I was loos'd from the Bands of Sleep, for it was no more which had bound down my Senses, I was in a Consternation impossible to be express'd:----I look'd on myself, then round the Room, and I believe 'twou'd have been pleasant enough, if any body had been Witness of it, to have observ'd the Oddness of my Behaviour at my first waking: I remember'd very well what had pass'd before I went to Bed, and cou'd not reconcile so seeming a Contradiction, as that I shou'd be still in a World I believ'd I had taken such effectual Measures to be freed from. As I was in this Dilemma, my Nurse came into the Chamber, not with her Eyes o'erflow'd with Tears, and wringing her Hands, as she had done the Night before, but with all the Marks of a most perfect Satisfaction, and kneeling down by the Bedside, testify'd her Joy in most fervent Thanksgivings to that Divine Power which had so graciously been pleas'd to disappoint the unnatural Purpose of my Heart. I cou'd not forbear interrupting her Ejaculations by some wild sort of Enquiries, how I came to be still living; which she presently satisfy'd me in these Words: When I had left you, (said she,) in all Appearance dead, I began to consider of the Promise you had oblig'd me to make; and it being near Morning, got myself ready to go with your Letter, resolving to take no Notice of your Death to my Family till my Return. After I had discharg'd that unwelcome Errand, I found a Man waiting at home to speak with me; and he told me, the chief of it was to enquire if a Lady who lodg'd here was well; and then nam'd you: I was too much confounded at the Question to be able to answer him without trembling and faultering in my Speech, though, as well as I cou'd, I said I hop'd you were well;----that I left you so last Night. I wish (resum'd he, taking me aside) she may continue so. Then, Madam, he told me he was the Apothecary from whom you had demanded Poison; but suspecting you design'd it for some other Use than what you pretended, and fearing if he shou'd deny, you might procure it from some other, he had deceiv'd you with an Opiate, which cou'd be no way prejudicial to the Health of the Person that took it, though it wou'd hold the Senses in a much deeper and longer Sleep than what was natural. ----He said also, That he had caus'd you to be watch'd home, to the End that he might relate the Truth to those about you, if any Thing of what he imagin'd shou'd happen. I was so impatient to know what Lysander had said, since I found she had been with him, that I cou'd not give myself much Time to reflect on what she told me concerning the Apothecary; but I found her willing to evade the repeating the Manner of his Behaviour, and guess'd by that he was inhuman to the last. ----What, (said I) was he not shock'd to hear I died for him? ----If I cou'd believe, that after so fatal a Proof of Love he cou'd persist in his Barbarity, I shou'd rejoice my Purpose was defeated, and would live to scorn him. ----If you are in earnest, (interrupted she,) and can, indeed, continue in a Resolution so truly noble, I will inform you of all. Which after my assuring her I wou'd do, she went on in this Manner: I gave your Letter to him, (said she,) and after looking it carelesly over,----Your Mistress sure is mad, (cry'd he, with an Air of Contempt,) I long have thought her so; and the romantick Stuff she has writ me here, confirms it. Indeed, Madam, (continued the good Creature,) I had scarce Power to refrain flying in his Face; but though my Hands forbore any Indignities, I gave my Tongue free Scope; and when I had told him,----nay, swore, (as well I might, for firmly I believ'd it,) that you were really dead, I call'd him every Name I cou'd invent, of base, perfidious, and deceitful; but he seemed as little to regard the Fury I was in, as the News I brought him, and only saying,---If she be dead the Letter requires no Answer, therefore be gone, and cease your Clamour; but not finding I was very hasty to do as he bid me, for methought it was some little Satisfaction to upbraid this Monster, he call'd one of his Servants to turn me out of Doors, and walk'd from me as unconcerned as though I had brought him an Account of the most indifferent Affair that cou'd have happen'd. I was too well satisfied in the Integrity of this good old Woman, to doubt the Truth of what she said; and it was now that I began to feel that Resentment, which by a thousand Barbarities he had long before deserved. And, after some little Struggles between departing Tenderness and growing Hate;---'Tis done, (said I,) Reason, at last, has gain'd a Conquest over all that Softness which has hitherto betray'd me to Contempt. ---Now I will live, and Love alone shall die. ---Nurse brought so many and well-grounded Arguments to strengthen me in this Resolution, and express'd her Meaning in a Manner so much beyond what could be expected from her, that I have often thought she was that Moment inspir'd by Heaven to assist my Weakness. In short, I gave the Thoughts of Death entirely over. I cou'd not endure, however, to appear publickly in the World again; and as Lysander believ'd me dead, I was willing every Body else shou'd do so too: I order'd a Will to be drawn according to Law, in which I made Nurse my Heir and sole Executrix; and she has perform'd every Thing I desir'd with such Exactness and Fidelity, that not a Relation or Acquaintance has the least Notion of my being living. It was she who heard of the Convenience of this House for boarding in; but I wou'd not let her come to make any Agreement for me, because she might chance to be known, and consequently the Person she recommended guess'd at. Since the Time of my being here, she manages my little Fortune, receives the Income of it when due, and gives me an Account of it every Quarter; which is all the Business I have to do in this uneasy World. Thus, Madam, have I given you a faithful Account of the Causes which induc'd me to this Retirement; and I believe, you will own that they are such as merit no less than my whole Life's Contrition. For, as Mr. Waller very elegantly expresses it,
Our Passions gone, and Reason in her Throne,
Amaz'd we see the Mischiefs we have done!
(pp. 67-74)",,11311,"","""Reason, at last, has gain'd a Conquest over all that Softness which has hitherto betray'd me to Contempt""","",2009-09-14 19:35:47 UTC,""
4372,"","Searching ""conque"" and ""heart"" in HDIS (Prose)",2005-01-20 00:00:00 UTC,"an Addition, if it cou'd have admitted of any, to the Passion he profest for her--to fly from the Embraces of a King, to lose for ever all the Advantages she might have expected from the Favour of so great a Lady as Madam de Montespan, and to endure such Terrors, such certain Hardships as had been her Portion the Night before, and might have continued on her till Death had put an end to them, had not Chance directed him that way, only for the uncertain Hopes of finding a safe Harbour in his Arms at last, was such a Proof of condescending Tenderness, of Love the most sublime, the most violent that ever was, that he confess'd it far surpass'd all possibility of a return, and grew even painful to a grateful, generous Heart, which, he said, had not the means to thank, as it deserv'd, such a profusive Waste of lavish Kindness--But Lasselia soon remov'd that Discontent, by assuring him she shou'd think herself more happy in the Conquest of his Heart, than in that of the whole World; and that all she entreated of him, shou'd be Constancy",,11478,•In volume iv.,"One may think herself ""more happy in the Conquest of [a] Heart, than in that of the whole World""","",2009-09-14 19:35:56 UTC,""